When I was sixteen years old, I sat in my English class flipping through an art book when I came across the most stunning photograph I'd ever seen. What's that? I asked Ms. Bruno. The Alhambra, she replied. Built by Muslims in Spain generations ago. I gazed at the fountain with lions, the intricate artwork decorating the ceilings and said to myself I want to see this for myself some day. Years later, June 2001 I saw a flier on campus calling teachers to teach English in Spain. I'm going, I resolved. The summer after my first year of teaching I'm there.

Of course, as life continues to teach me, what I plan and the actuality of what He has destined for me may not align. July 2001 I met K, and July 2002, the summer of Spain, I married him [and to be clear, I'd have it no other way!]. Since then, the desire to see Spain continues to beat in my heart but we plan our vacations using a pragmatic method: The world is beautiful, lets fly to where its cheapest! In this way we've been blessed to see many countries such as Turkey, France, Costa Rica, etc. but Spain to date has not shown up on the list of affordable countries. Until now.

Monday we leave for Madrid, Spain. From Madrid we drive South to Granada, Cordova, Seville, and small towns along the way. [If you've been to Spain and have advice, please share!] I'm reading Ornament of The World, a fantastic book about Medieval Spain and how beautifully Muslims, Jews, and Christians once lived together. [Thanks Baraka!]. While I'm excited I also feel pensive. To visit Spain is to visit the ghosts of the past. I read how there was a time that people were considered uncivilized if they hailed from outside the Muslim Empire. What a reversal it is now. As our trip inches closer I realize why my heart seems to pull me to Spain. I want to travel back in time. I want to close my eyes as I stand in the Grand Mosque and imagine what was. I want to stand before the Alhambra and look out at the horizon as others before me. To be in the presence of what they built, is to be in the tangible presence of the past. I think Islam is undergoing an identity crisis. The unity of Al-Andalus is crushed and we are scattered across the earth like shards of glass. Reading about the invention of Algebra, the tolerance for other faiths, and the beautiful things that were once accomplished, I can't help but feel sad for what was. I am going to Spain to time travel. I'm visiting Spain to understand who we once were.

Labels: Islam, travel

posted by Aisha @ 5:01 PM || 12 comments

The elections in Iran are ugly though I'm sure most of you already knew. Neda, 26, and unarmed died from a bullet shot by a soldier. The country where she died won't let her family speak out nor allow them to put up the banners of mourning. She was buried quickly but she won't be quickly forgotten. In Iran, posting her pictures on websites is forbidden, so today I post a tribute for those who can't. I hope her struggles, and others like her will not be in vain. To contact your congress person about the issues overseas, click here.

And it gets worse.

Labels: current events

posted by Aisha @ 1:56 PM || 4 comments

I'm sitting at a coffee shop catching up on some work. There is a well dressed man in his late forties sitting at the table across from me nursing a coffee and typing away on his computer [I'll name him Jack]. A few minutes ago one of his friends walks in, orders coffee and sits across from him. [Bill].

B: So whatcha up to these days?
J: Sending out resumes and looking at paint colors to fix up the house.
B: You moving?
J: Trying to avoid getting kicked out is more like it.
B: Resumes though? I heard you got a job.
J: I did but its part-time, I need a 40 hour a week gig.
B: Whatcha doin now? Still in real estate?
J: No, at the moment I'm working in the area of culinary logistics.
B: Culinary logistics, what's that?
J: I deliver pizzas for Dominoes.
B: Ah, that MBA coming in handy eh?

I see Jack and I see the hundreds of thousands of others like him. If they stood side by side they'd spill into the parking lot, down the street, curving around the block. So many people, yet each suffering unique pain. I have felt the sting of unemployment and know how deeply it can embed into your pscyhe, taking with it your sense of identity. I shake my head and return to work but his pain has left a tinge on my own heart. I hope he will be okay. I hope we as a country will overcome this crisis.

Labels: current events, life

posted by Aisha @ 6:43 PM || 5 comments

Labels. We all use them. The honorable Judge Judy. Dr. Bob Bobullah, M.D. etc. Sometimes I am addressed as Aisha Iqbal, BA, MA, JD. Sometimes, Aisha Iqbal, Esquire. Last week I got a kick when a client sent me a letter and addressed it, Miss Aisha, Attorney at Law. Today I got some books in the mail from someone who connected with me via my blog. When I saw the address label:


I had two reactions (1) I looked at it long and hard and (2) marveled at how this label was more accurate at capturing my essence than any other label I've thus far received. Me thinks I need to make some new business cards!

Labels: humor, life

posted by Aisha @ 9:53 PM || 6 comments

I've always wanted to live in Portland. Even before I visited. I loved the idea of a biker's city with coffee shops and the mountains and the ocean just around the corner. My family heard this and shook their head. You say you want to live in San Francisco. Asheville. Hawaii. OFCOURSE you want to live in Portland too. I stand by my statements. I do love SF, Asheville and Hawaii, and to live in any is a dream come true. However, Oregon is special, and visiting did not disappoint from the delicious oatmeal pancakes at Bijou Cafe (Thanks Baraka!) to the delicious coffee and lovely waterfalls. Portland is awesome just for these things alone but what takes it to the top of the charts, what makes Portland the rockstar of all cities is Powell's Book Store: the largest bookstore in the world.

If you read this blog, you know I love books. Growing up, my quiet thrill each week was going to the library and choosing the books that would be mine to treasure for the week they lived in my home. While my brothers groaned over reading assignments, I devoured their novels entirely in the time it took them to organize their desk space. My point: I love them books.

Powell's is a magical place for a bookworm. It covers a city block and the store feels much like a maze. Each section has a different color. There is the purple room, the red room, the pearl room, and so on. Used books and new books sit side by side. They even have food in the coffee shop. Seriously, what need does one have to leave save for a spouse who might want to see more of the city than just a bookstore?

I'm a writer. I know the blood, sweat and tears that go into creating a manuscript. When I stood before all those books, row after row towering over me, so many books it would surpass my lifetime to get through each of them, I felt moved. There is something powerful about being amongst so many words. Words that writers pored over. Chapters they revised. Sacrifices they made. Each book, a dream realized. Perseverance paid off.

I dream of returning to Portland on a sunny summery day much like the day I came. I dream of oatmeal pancakes, and Mio's gelato but my heart skips a beat when one day I may return to a certain store in the Pearl District by the name of Powell's. I hope when I return, my book will be amongst those on its lustruous shelves.

Labels: books, travel, vacation, writing

posted by Aisha @ 10:18 PM || 8 comments

My little brother got married last weekend and only now is the exhaustion of the hustle bustle associated with the 1.5 week of nonstop action wearing off and I'm able to really reflect on the beautiful fact of wow, my brother: he's married!! I thought I'd give some advice from my perspective. I figured I'd share it with you in the blogosphere in the hopes you too can add your own bits of advice! If you are a guru on all things marriage (or even if you like me are just figuring it out as you go) please share your pearls of wisdom!

1. Compliment her FIRST. When you're going out and she looks beautiful as she inevitably does in your eyes make sure to take that thought out of your head and share it with her. Also, when she says it first You look so nice. The proper response is: so do you. NOT: Thanks. *crickets*

2. Go to bed MAD. I hesitate to write this as surely Auntie Bobullah is reading right now thinking haw hai, Aisha and K have gotten MAD at one other? Such a scandal I never heard! and proceed to dial the auntie gossip tree, but I'm wagering I'm not the only person who has perchance argued with their spouse. At first I was of the "never go to bed angry" mentality but now I see the virtues in K's opposite stance because usually after a good night's rest a) the problem doesn't seem so big [typically silly] or b) you are calm and more reasonable minded.

3. Respect the peeve. We're human, we have peeves. Sometimes irrational. Nonetheless, each person should be entitled to one peeve honored regardless of its rationality. Just as K learned that I would rather hang upside down from a ten story building while juggling monkeys rather than hear the sound of slurping, I too respect his desire that no one other than he wear his sweat shirts. Does it make complete sense? No. Does it lead to marital bliss? Yes, and isn't that what its all about?

4. You did not marry a mind reader. This is the toughest one to learn. Girls are used to being empathetic and analyzing conversations and sensing someone's moods. I'm generalizing here, but, guys, they just aren't. If you want him to empty the dishwasher don't say Oh wow, the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. I'm in the middle of solving world hunger. Jee I wish someone would unload it. Instead say, Can you unload the dishwasher please? Thanks!! Seems simple but it took me quite a few years to figure this one out. Oh, and same goes for gifts. Just because you hinted that the purse is nice, it will take him a few years to figure out what you mean when you said that. First few years, try: That purse is great! I would love to have it. My birthday is next week. In conclusion, that purse is divine. Even then there are no guaruntees he picked up the hint, but at least you tried.

5. Avoid the rut actively. Courtship has an end date but marriage is ideally forever. It can be easy to fall into a routine and put off the dinner and a movie, or trip to the theater because you are tired and could just do it later. You're together forever but do what you can to make each day feel brand new. One personal favorite of ours is travel. You focus on one another, and build new memories together.

6. In good times and bad. I believe that a marriage shows its character not by the way you interact when times are good but how you turn to each other when things get difficult. If I could sprinkle magic dust on you both and ensure you only know joy and bliss in your lives together, I'd sell my house to buy it for you, but the truth is life being life can sometimes present challenges. Turn to each other. Don't be afraid to lean on another. Resist the urge to always be strong. You are a garment for one another. You are there as a soft place to land for each other. Allow your partner to be that for you.

7. You're still you. As a child when I thought of marriage, I pictured myself in a prim shalwar kamiz, sitting cross legged at a mahogany table drinking tea out of china and discussing the state of the hedges. I was warned by some when I married that I would no longer be the person I once was. Yes, in some ways I've changed. I cook now (something which continues to astonish my parents to this day) and I have more responsibilities, but on the whole I'm still me. You both are beautiful people who chose each other because you liked one another for who you were. I hope you both grow together as you grow older, but remember, that you are still you. Marriage need not change this.

8. Eat sushi. Come on Ali, its delicious. Natasha likes it. We like it. When you come visit, we're going to make you eat it.

9. Don't take one another for granted. This needs no explanation.

10. Don't ignore your spouse. <-- K requested I include this. Apparently he feels neglected as I write this due to insistent requests to bake cookies that have gone unheeded. And on that note, I bid adeiu.

Labels: humor, life lesson, marriage

posted by Aisha @ 12:00 AM || 3 comments

I began this blog chronicling my angst regarding law school and random thoughts that came and went. My readers consisted of my father and friend Huda. How far my blogging has come. This blog has been my place to work through my thoughts, and to connect with like minded people. I never could have known when I began that through blogging I would make friends, lose friends, discover myself, and gain confidence in my writing. There are days that I consider quitting. How long can I keep this up after all? Will I be 90 years old hunched over a computer chronicling my thoughts on this and that? I'm not sure about that but I think I will keep blogging until I no longer want to. Right now, I still want to.

I've noticed that though I have the same number of readers, the comments have grown sparse. That's okay, but today, if you are reading this I have a favor. In honor of my five year anniversary, could you please drop a note in the comments. I'd love to know who you are, how long you've been reading, and why you've stuck around, what your favorite post was... anything really. It's just nice to hear from you. You don't have to but it would sort of make my day.

Since its a five year anniversary I thought I'd share five of my favorite/most talked about posts that I've written incase you missed them:

1. The Desi Marriage Crisis
2. The Skin Thing
3. Lonely? Tazo tea will come through for you!
4. Discrimination from Within
5. On Apples

Labels: blogging

posted by Aisha @ 11:08 PM || 43 comments

As I take out my credit card to pay the cashier at Barnes & Noble I see a stocky man with a book bag walking at a brisk pace out the door. The detectors go off shrieking. An Indian woman who works there breaks into a run Sir Sir! Please come back! The man keeps walking at a brisk pace without looking behind.

The cashier checking me out sighs as she slides my credit card through and shakes her head at the cashier next to her. I don't know why Indira ran after him. It's not worth it, he'll be back again.

I raise my eyebrows, again? I ask.

The other cashier nods and rolls her eyes, Yeah he comes here all the time and stuffs his book bag with books and runs out.

I sign my receipt and stare at her, and you don't stop him?

Nope, she said, We have strict rules on stopping shoplifters and if he puts in his book bag there's not much we can do.

As I walk out with my purchased items, I can't help but wonder a few things:
a) Does the book thief not know of libraries?
b) If he's a regular thief, can't someone trail him to make sure he doesn't steal?
c) Why didn't I just stuff my books in my purse and walk out.

Ha, just kidding about (c) but... there's something seriously wrong with what I saw.

Labels: strangeness

posted by Aisha @ 4:27 PM || 3 comments

Writing. Whether I'm a good writer or simply mediocre, writing is my escape. Writing helps me make sense of the world and fine tune my perspective. Writing allows me to express myself more honestly and fully than any other form of expression. Through my words I can take a blank page and create a world that never existed. Through my words I can illustrate feelings too intense to articulate. Writing is my salvation.

My Ipod. Before buying the Ipod, each minute of running felt tortured. Now, I can listen to the Killers albums, pumped up and running, sweat dripping down my chin, and barely realize thirty minutes passed. I love running to the rhythm, lost in song, my body doing the work, but my mind in another place entirely.

My Husband. The ocean may swirl like a tempest around me, but as long as he is my lighthouse, I know I will find safe harbor. [Alhamdullilah]

Labels: 3bt

posted by Aisha @ 12:01 AM || 7 comments

1. Who you can turn to and lean on. Not always who you expect.
2. Who you cant turn to or lean on. Not always who you expect, but at least now you know. This too is beneficial.
3. Your strength. Sometimes you think you would fall apart under tough circumstances, but when you go to hell and back and still manage to stand, you find a new form of self respect.
4. Your fragility. We fly to the moon and create tankers that plough through streets, yet at our essence we're as fragile and delicate as puff pastry. The fact that we get up, and get out there despite this inherent fragility is the truest miracle of God.
5. Empathy. Hardship opens your eyes to the pain of others, even those whose pain is unrelated to your own.

If you're concerned by this post, I appreciate it so much. I'm fine. Just hit a rough patch which is why I was MIA, but I'm gathering myself up and learning to walk again. Sorry to be so vague, but I will be okay. I wanted to share this list because even in a tough moment, there are things I have learned. That does not make the hard time worthwhile, but at least you can take something away from it. Hope you're all well.

Labels: life

posted by Aisha @ 1:00 PM || 12 comments

Browsing in a library. I order my library books online. I check the reviews, click "reserve" and pick them up. In and out in under two minutes. The other day I spent an hour just browsing through the library, I remember as a child roaming through the library, excited at all the choices that could be mine. You can lose yourself in the hallowed silence of the library as titles beckon you. I picked four books I never researched. The first I'm reading is by Paul Coelho and the first two pages were written for me. I must book browse more often.

Flowers on my doorstep. They remind me of who I love and that I am loved.

Love. It builds you up, it destroys you. It cradles you in its arms, it crushes you to dust. Love is powerful, it is beautiful, it is a universal truth, and once one loves, he who was loved, will never be forgotten.
Merlin:Ah, you know, lad, that love business is a powerful thing.
Arthur: Greater than gravity?
Merlin: Well yes, boy, in its way... yes, I'd say it's the greatest force on earth.

Life moves very fast. It rushes us from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds. - Paul Coelho

Labels: 3bt

posted by Aisha @ 10:03 PM || 6 comments

X: When your job ends where do you plan to work? Have you started applying?
Me: Not sure yet, I think I might take some time off and work on my writing.
X: You mean just stay at home?
Me: Well, I'd be working on my writing . . .
X: But you need a job Aisha. Having a job helps pass the time.

I understand doing something for money, for enjoyment, for a sense of conviction, but to do a thing merely to pass time? Pass time until when? What exactly am I biding my time for? The prospect of doing a thing simply to fill up the hours of the day may make sense if you are waiting for lab results, or a job offer but passing time for no reason but for the sake of passing time? As though I have an eternity to squander in this way?

I fight trying to "pass the time" but I find myself doing it often. Sitting at my desk on Monday and counting the hours until the end of the day. Hoping the week will pass quickly, hoping Friday will come soon. Repeating the cycle every week. Yet what does this mean? That I live from one Friday to the next Friday? What is the time in between? Time to be passed? How awful to wish 3/4 of your life away like this.

If you're taking jobs you don't even believe in, or watching television shows that mean nothing, just to pass the time, then its time to truly examine your purpose in life. The cliche imploring life is too short is true, life is a nanosecond. You were not here on earth for eons and you are only here for a very temporary stay. How sad to waste this time, this precious time trying to figure out how to make the hours pass by quickly.

I'm trying to appreciate each minute, each hour, even if its pain I feel, its living. A hot shower on a cold day, my hands gripping a knife as I chop crisp vegetables, laying my head down for rest after a long day, holding a new book in my hands and turning each page. Each moment, a manifestation of life, a gift afforded to me. I should strive to create a better world, to find meaning and purpose, but I hope and pray that I never consider doing anything in order to simply pass the time. Time is passing, slipping through my fingers like fine grains of sand, I need not hurry it on its way.

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity- Thoreau

Labels: life

posted by Aisha @ 12:21 AM || 7 comments

I am in Florida helping with wedding preparations for my brother's wedding. The days are filled with aaloo paratha brunches, afternoon chais, and then the down to business tasks of meeting with photographers, decorators, organizing the guest list, and addressing envelopes. It's a deep sense of peace to be in my parent's home, a place in which I am still their child, to be with my brothers and to hear the familiar voices of my family so close to me.

And yet- there is this sense of udassi in me. As I prepare for his wedding, I remember my own. I was the first to leave, the first to sever the continuity of the dynamics of our five person family. It is always more difficult for those who are left behind. This is one of the rare weekends I'm here on my own. I can't help but feel a nostalgic ache at how precious these moments are, the five of us under one roof, still children in our parent's eyes. But my baby brother is grown up. He's getting married. How fast did time fly?

I can't stop thinking of my parents. How did it feel for them when I left? How did it feel to have family dinners without me at my usual chair? For decades we were the universe they inhabited, and then one day seven years ago, it became a memory of the way it once was. I moved on to my married life. My brothers moved on to college. Each time we meet, the same routines that decades entrenched in our psyches resume. Aisha cuts the salad, the others set the table. The same jokes, the same needling. Yet now we are all aware how temporary it is.

Perhaps it is this which fills me with udassi, a sensation like a rope swirling against my heart, tugging it enough to make it bleed. You create a family and then your family grows wings and flies away. And this ofcourse is how it should be. Yet, the truth is, your parent's home is always your home, and the homesickness no matter how faint it grows over time, always remains.

Labels: family, marriage

posted by Aisha @ 12:46 AM || 7 comments

I was a bit surprised by how few of my 109 in 2009 I accomplished this month, still, something is better than nothing I suppose! However, I am pleased to announce that one of my favorite goals, reading 100 books in 2009, is coming along well, so far I've read about 31 books though not all have been updated on the site yet. I'm running out of books in my queue, if you have any books to suggest please share I've been enjoying reading many of your recommendations!

#38. Update my resume. Well it's done and I'm glad it is, one should always have their resume updated particularly in these times, however I do want it to look better. I've heard of professional resume services but don't know of any in particular, if you have one that you can recommend please share!

#51. Eat a mango. What a pleasurable goal to fulfill! Mango shakes, lassi, ice cream, and just plain chopped up eating the seed messy with your bare hands, all delicious. In Brazil I became known as the mango girl due to my insistence on eating mango at every conceivable opportunity. Once, walking down a street in Rio De Janeiro after dinner with a group of friends we passed an old man with a long graying beard wearing tattered clothes sitting on a street corner. As we walked past him he stared intensely at me and slowly stood up pointing a finger in my direction and bellowed "Mangoooooo." I have no idea why or how he knew, perhaps the scent permeated through my skin, but it was a memorable moment on a memorable trip.

#90. Try Masala Dosa. A new Indian veggie place opened up near my house and I had to finally try this exotic delicacy. [If you're South Indian you're probably laughing at my describing it as exotic, it might be as exotic as a bowl of cereal for all I know]. I got a spicy one with potatoes and it was yummy.

Labels: 100 book challenge, 109 in 2009

posted by Aisha @ 7:45 PM || 4 comments

Nearly two years ago, I posted a blog post about how I don't like confrontations which is a bit counter intuitive considering my chosen profession is law. I ended that post with: Maybe time will teach me how to embrace it. Maybe 2 years from now I'll eagerly hop into the boxing ring like Muhammad Ali. Still not there yet. Now I wonder if I ever will, and on a deeper level, if I even should.

Labels: law

posted by Aisha @ 3:57 PM || 8 comments